The issue of marriage is becoming more or less complex in many societies around the world. While in some societies a man is left to choose a wife for himself, in others parents choose for their children. The rationale behind this is that, some parent believe that young people at the age of marriage often occupy themselves with so many things and as a result set a high standard as for to choose in marriage. On the other hand, some parent believe that their male children are often carried away by wrong qualities in a woman who can never make a home marriage-wise. These and many other reasons make men to stay single for a long time only to marry late but mostly without having a choice.
By definition, most young adult view marriage as the fulfillment of a worthy relationship between two persons especially of the opposite sex who have agreed to stay and live together irrespective of the challenges. This definition do not recognize procreation as one of the purposes of getting marriage, it rather view marriage in terms of contractual agreement that two partners engage in which “staying together” is it major essence. In this way, both parties have to sacrifice a part of them for peace and progress of their whole. This supposedly indicates that there would extra demands on the life of the two. The thought about the unseen demands and inherent conflicts/troubles it might bring is what make some men to be excessively scared of marriage.
Generally speaking, there are two kinds of men when it comes to marriage. The first types are men who really want to make it in life before getting married, while the second are those men who believe in marrying a lady and building their lives together. The first set of men are scared of marriage and generally skeptical of the challenges that marriage would bring. They believe that a woman’s genuine love rest on how rich a man is. They would not mind buying expensive things for the woman like cars, houses, pricey jewelries and if possible buying the woman’s love with their money. They trust more in money than ‘love’ which they believe do not actually exist but rather is a mere feeling which can be judged by material standard. These kind of men are often down and completely out of hope when they discover that their partners are cheating on them. Such men do not want their women to take up professional jobs for fear of being exposed to other individuals who are wealthier or richer than them. Neither do they want their women to be more successful than them. They are basically afraid of a woman’s domination, even though they dominate themselves with their riches at the expense of a woman’s genuine love. If a lady meets this kind of man she is expected to prove him wrong by turning down the expensive gifts and helping the man to recognize the endearing values she is made up of. This is because, when a man is proved wrong by the standard he sets in evaluating ladies that come to him, he becomes natural in his thinking. Natural thinking is what helps one to see and recognize love. If this is achieved before marriage the lady is sure of enjoying the man as she will be truly valued by the man.
The second type of men however, believe that a woman’s contribution to the life of a man as well as in marriage is vital and should not be over looked. They are however, very weak emotionally and need the company of a woman to keep them going. They believe in the saying that “Behind every successful man, their must be a woman”. Hence, they keep promises made at the early stage of their relationship and often work very hard to achieve their dreams together. These kind of men can do every thing for a woman. Their major fear is “heart break”. Once they survive one, they are never the same again. They trust without reserve. If a lady finds this kind of man, she should be very open and often take time to explain things in details especially things that, if not explained earlier, might bring misconception in their cherished relationship. Support them when they start any project morally and try to be by their side. All these make them feel like god and often bring them unusual straight to work tirelessly in the achievement of their dreams.
Some men are usually scared to marry ladies who have intimidating appearance, for example way back in school, I noticed every man want to get close to that beautiful lady in the campus. Ironically, they were always not talking of marrying her. They generally believe that, if you have a beautiful woman in your house she might not settle down since men out side would be disturbing her frequently. On the whole, while men hate marrying ugly looking babes, they also do not want to marry beautiful looking damsels for obvious reasons. If a lady is convinced of her beauty and noticed men gapping her or probably not making marriage proposals to her, all she needs to do is avoid being sexually loose. The cheap a man gets a fine or beautiful lady, the more he gets convinced that she is sexually loose to men generally. Even if the lady truly loves the man, she should show other exceptional qualities of her which will make the man to look at her beauty as secondary. In this way, she will help the man to overcoming the inherent fears of possessing her in marriage.
*** Art in Disguise ***
